Following Mother Mary's Steps

Following Mary's steps in hope, faith and love Jesus' mother was a model of a woman trusting in God; a beautiful example for mothers in times of trial and of joy By Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle - OSV Newsweekly, 5/12/2013 Every year when Mother’s Day rolls around, many mothers pause to thank God for the blessing of their children, perhaps even in a bigger way than they usually do each day.   When mothers find it difficult to trust God, they can draw on Mary’s faith, hope and love as guidance. Shutterstock      After all, Mother’s Day is a special occasion set aside to celebrate mothers. In my case, I’m blessed with five children on Earth and three in heaven.       At this time of year, when I look at my lilac bushes ready to burst into bloom, I can’t help but remember my mother and reminisce the bountiful fragrant lilacs that lined our back yard when I was growing up. My grandmother was a part of that picture, too — she was always nearby and beaming with a grandmother’s love. We all spent many a spring day out in the yard together.       My mother, Alexandra Mary Uzwiak Cooper, was born in the springtime of 1920. But for a few minutes after she let out her first cry the doctors and nurses weren’t sure whether she was a boy or a girl because she was extremely tiny, weighing only one-and-a-half pounds. But just as soon as they could determine that she was a girl, my grandparents requested that the hospital chaplain baptize my mother on the spot. They wanted to be sure that she would have her “ticket to heaven,” should she not survive.       As diminutive as my mother was, when the sacramental water of baptism was poured over her petite head, she was immediately initiated into the Church and received the great gift of the theological virtues of faith, hope and love.        My grandparents had surely been using and living their theological virtues — having had faith in the transforming sacrament of baptism, hoping in God that their tiny baby would survive, and loving my mother endlessly as they cared for her physical and spiritual needs.       My mother indeed lived to tell the tale, the theological virtues blossomed in my mother’s heart and soul, and she grew up and married. Through her openness to life she bore eight children of her own, passing on the virtues.  Hoping, praying, loving Mothers receive no guarantees regarding the little lives they “sign up” for by opening their hearts to their Creator with their “yes” to life. Yet a mother’s heart always remains hopeful and she puts one foot in front of the other each day in faith to love and provide for the children God blesses her with.  Heartening Words “We would like to pay homage to all brave mothers who dedicate themselves to their own family without reserve, who suffer in giving birth to their children and who are ready to make any effort, to face any sacrifice, in order to pass on to them the best of themselves ... How hard they have to fight against difficulties and dangers! How frequently they are called to face genuine ‘wolves’ determined to snatch and scatter the flock! And these heroic mothers do not always find support in their surroundings. On the contrary, the cultural models frequently promoted and broadcast by the media do not encourage motherhood. In the name of progress and modernity, the values of fidelity, chastity, sacrifice, in which a host of Christian wives and mothers have distinguished and continue to distinguish themselves, are presented as obsolete. As a result, a woman who is determined to be consistent with her principles often feels deeply alone, alone in her love which she cannot betray, and to which she must remain faithful.” — Blessed Pope John Paul II from his homily at the 1994 beatification of St. Gianna Beretta Molla      Some mothers have never held their precious babies in their arms because they were lost to miscarriage. Others have only been permitted fleeting moments to hold and kiss their babes born with serious birth defects before they passed on to eternal life. As well, some mothers suffer the pain of losing their baby when he or she is stillborn. None of this makes them any less of a mother in God’s eyes nor should it in ours. They have sacrificed for their babies and love them dearly. Blessed Pope John Paul II called these mothers “heroic.”       Three of my children were miscarried. I chose to hope that they were carried by the angels to the arms of Jesus and Mary. One of my pregnancies was very precarious, requiring that I stay still on complete bed rest for almost all nine months. When my doctor told me that I would most likely lose this baby, too, I chose to hope and pray instead, even asking Mother Teresa, whom I knew at the time, for her prayers.        Mother Teresa sent me a blessed miraculous medal and instructed me to wear it and to ask Mary to take care of the baby and me. She told me to pray, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.” I really like that key word “now.” That sure was when I needed her help. I clung to hope and had faith that Mother Mary would see me through — and she did! That baby is now almost 22 years old and is named Mary-Catherine. Mother Mary It was only appropriate to pray to Our Blessed Mother, for she lived the virtues of faith, hope and love in an exemplary way. Even as a young Jewish girl, Mary prayed and hoped for the Messiah, having complete faith that God would keep his promises. She had no idea at that time though that she was to be the chosen mother of God.  An old photo of the author’s mother as a child, center, and her family. Courtesy of Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle      Later on, Mary offered her courageous “Yes” to God when the Angel Gabriel announced to her that she would become Jesus’ mother (see Lk 1:26-29), having complete faith that God’s will would be accomplished through her.       A short time later, Mary’s loving heart sent her on a journey “in haste” into the hill country to help her elderly cousin Elizabeth, who was pregnant as well (see Lk 1:39). We know that Elizabeth’s baby, St. John the Baptist, leaped in her womb upon Mary’s arrival. Elizabeth praised Mary for her great faith. Mary responded by praising God, glorifying him for his holiness, justice, and mercy through the humble words of the Magnificat.       When mothers experience fear in the circumstances that beset them or find it difficult to trust God, they can draw strength meditating on Mary’s faithful trust in God. And as mothers experience the deep joys within their vocation of mothering, they can feel an affinity with another Mother — one who has also experienced this profound joy in mothering Jesus.       Mother Mary was no stranger to unfathomable suffering and can help us with our intense sorrows, too. Let’s not hesitate to approach Mary in prayer often for support in our mothering.        She is much closer to us than we might imagine and is waiting for us to reach out to her in prayer. She will, indeed, bring us closer to her Son Jesus.       Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now.  Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle is an EWTN TV host and author of several books, including Catholic Mom’s Café: 5-Minute Retreats for Every Day of the Year (OSV, $14.95).  Global Traditions United States: Mother’s Day is a national holiday celebrated on the second Sunday in May by remembering and celebrating mothers through gifts like homemade cards, flowers and breakfast in bed.  Australia: Second Sunday of May; cards and flowers for mothers and grandmothers. Carnations are worn by many — white to honor a deceased mother and colored for the living. France: The last Sunday of May; a cake shaped like a bouquet of flowers traditionally is eaten after a celebratory dinner. Mexico: May 10; a celebration of Mass is central and mothers often are serenaded to the tune of “Las Mañanitas.” Mothers enjoy tamales and atole. Panama: Dec. 8, the feast of the Immaculate Conception. Spain: The first Sunday in May; strongly linked to praising the Virgin Mary. Special church services for mothers and children often are held. United Kingdom: Fourth Sunday of Lent, used to be called “Mothering Sunday.” Traditional rich almond cakes are made for mothers. You can see this article here: http://www.osv.com/tabid/7621/itemid/10845/Following-Marys-steps-in-hope-faith-and-love.aspx

First stop along the Catholic Mom's Cafe blog tour!

Thank you very much to Jennifer Rey at Our Sunday Visitor for this interview which kicks off my Catholic Mom's Cafe blog tour!

Daily retreats for busy moms: An inside look with author Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

Editor's note: OSV Daily Take is the first stop on Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle’s "Catholic Mom’s Café" blog tour.

With five children Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle knows how difficult it is for busy moms to maintain a robust spiritual life. In response, the author, blogger, speaker and EWTN host developed five-minute daily retreats for moms on-the-go in her new book, Catholic Mom's Café: 5-Minute Retreats for Every Day of the Year (Our Sunday Visitor, 2013).

Catholic Mom's Café is a 365-day devotional book for Catholic moms with reflections that highlight the virtues of faith, hope and love. The following interview gives an inside look at her new work.

Our Sunday Visitor: What was your inspiration for Catholic Mom's Café?

Donna-Marie: I am a Catholic mother of eight — five on earth and three in heaven. The vocation of motherhood is my life. And, because it is, I know firsthand how totally inundated and busy a mother can be. That’s why I wanted to write this book — to offer busy faithful moms something they can sink their teeth into, but in small enough portions they can fit it into their extremely demanding lifestyle. We have to face the facts — a mother's life is not her own. Her role is a 24/7 schedule since she is on call every minute caring for the needs of her family. There's no telling when one of the little ones will spike a fever in the night or wake up suddenly with teething pains, or any number of needs throughout the day with the young and the older children.

I am also very familiar with the lack of affirmation and encouragement available from our society for Catholic moms today. Because we Catholic and Christian moms not only care for the exteriors, but also for the spiritual welfare of our children, we work hard to keep them away from indecent films, inappropriate clothing, and everything that is harmful to them.

I believe there's a great need to rally together and offer one another encouragement whenever possible.

OSV: You're not a coffee drinker, so why did you choose the café theme?

Donna-Marie: You're right, I don’t drink coffee but I do love tea and teas can be had in a café! I titled this book Catholic Mom's Café because I envisioned the experience as a sweet café of time to drink in inspiration. When I think of a café I envision nourishment and even taking a quick few minutes to refresh oneself.

I wrote this book thinking of the busy mom plunking down at the kitchen table in the morning with her children around her. After grace before meals is said together, hopefully the mom can open to the appropriate page and read the short verses to set the tone for her day. If the breakfast table doesn't work for her, hopefully she can designate a time when she can drink in the spiritual nourishment and be given her "spiritual vitamin" for the day.

OSV: Did your relationship with Blessed Mother Teresa help with writing this book?

Donna-Marie: Yes, I believe that knowing Mother Teresa has helped in writing this book because she touched my life so profoundly that I think her wisdom and love just naturally spills out into all I do and say and write about. I feel very passionate about inspiring Catholic and Christian mothers to go deeper into their faith, to trust God in their mothering, and to work hard at raising their kids in the Faith because God is counting on mothers to do so.

OSV: What made you focus on the theological virtues?

Donna-Marie: The focus in this book is about living lives of faith, hope and love within the vocation of mothering our children. God as a free gift gives us these wonderful theological virtues at our baptism. These virtues are key to living a Christian life, and I think sadly sometimes we forget about them. I thought it would be helpful to write a book in this way, which offers the busy mom a chance to discover the virtues already present in her life, but unfolding more and more each day. I think the book can be a reminder to "flex" a particular "muscle" of virtue each day to "grow" the virtues! Practicing these virtues makes us more like our Creator.

OSV: How does each day work?

Donna-Marie: Each day has four elements to work with: Ponder, Offer, Pray and Savor. Moms can pick up the book to the page of the day and read the verse at the top in the "Ponder" section, which sets the tone for the day. It could be a verse from the Bible, a snippet from the Catechism, a quote from a saint or from a well-known figure. She moves to the next section, which through an illustrative story invites her to "Offer" something — a suggestion of how she might work on a virtue, discover the blessings of the day, or teach her family something. After that, she can say the prayer in the "Pray" section. Finally, she is offered something to "Savor" — a thought to take her through the day to keep the message fresh on her heart.

OSV: How can this book benefit busy moms' spiritual lives?

Donna-Marie: I feel it's beneficial to provide bursts of inspiration in simple short devotions that will help bolster a mom’s spirits and give her the Catholic "tools" to get through her busy day (and night!). Moms can pick this book up at a set time of the day or simply weave it in as time allows — no worries, no pressure — simply bighearted inspiration always ready to serve.

OSV: Is there a way for readers to connect or to delve deeper?

Donna-Marie: I have created a "Catholic Mom's Café" blog and a "Catholic Mom's Café"Facebook page.  I love to create camaraderie among Catholic and Christian moms by giving them a place to meet and share their faith. Additionally, I often remark that when you get a bunch of faithful women together — watch out — amazing things can happen with faith, hope and love!

OSV: Can you tell me about the TV mini-series, "Catholic Mom's Café"?

Donna-Marie: My TV mini-series on EWTN is called "Catholic Mom's Café," same as the book! I linked them together by using the same title to again offer a warm inviting "environment" for Catholic and Christian moms. The television show is like an extension of the book. The moms reading the book will hopefully feel connected to the show where they can see me interviewing guests, offering advice, and speaking about that miraculous yet crazy vocation of motherhood.

Get your copy of Catholic Mom’s Café!

Autographed copies of Catholic Mom's Café are available for purchase at Donna-Marie's website. You can also purchase it through the publisher, Our Sunday Visitor, or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your local Catholic bookstore.

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