Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Keeping the season of Advent holy in our domestic churches

It's that wonderful and holy time of year that our Church calls "Advent." We might be planning (or at least hoping) to observe this Advent season in a holier way than we have in the past but aren't quite sure how to accomplish it. After all, there's that crazy time factor to deal with - or shall I say, the "lack thereof"? Advent seems to speed by and we might end up lamenting later on that we missed out on what we had hoped to do.

Then there's the advertising frenzy we are forced to contend with, which blares at us at every turn. Even when we are careful, our impressionable kids are exposed to all the tricks and distractions from the secular media. We want to be careful not to allow them to get caught up in the hype or get distracted ourselves.

So, during Advent, I think we really need to make our home "another Nazareth" as Mother Teresa once told me. I'd like to share five tips with you which will hopefully help to keep Advent holy in our domestic churches. In order to carry out these tips we have to establish at least a little bit of structure into our days or that holiness we are talking about just might not happen.

Here are the five Advent tips. You can simply incorporate one of them into your family's life or try them all.

1) Create a holy home. Now, that's easy, right? Well, not exactly, but with using a few simple tangible items, our homes become more like a little church (a domestic church!) rather than just blending into everything else in society. I suggest using an Advent wreath and light the candles each night at dinner. Say a prayer or two after you say your Grace Before Meals. Some families use a Jesse Tree. Either of these two Advent traditions are wonderful (or both). Place sacred and holy images and art around the household. These holy reminders and sacramentals help the family to look to heavenly things rather than the secular world.

2) Dedicate time for prayer. If we don't pencil in our Creator to our "to-do" list, our conversation with Him might not happen. I recommend that we pray first thing in the morning. Get your day started off right. Say a simple prayer together as a family at the breakfast table. No matter how busy you are, make it happen.

Dear Lord, thank You for Your love for us. Please bring our family close to You today. Help us to see You in others and serve You in them. Amen." Or, whatever you'd like to say.

Later, at night, pray again while around the dinner table And, of course, all throughout the day you'll be lifting your hearts heavenward. You will be creating an essential prayer habit. Help your family to establish a very good prayer habit.

3) Choose a Saint. Get acquainted with a saint and read about their life at the dinner table. This need not be a complicated task. It's actually quite easy. Use a book you have in your family library or get some information from a good online Catholic source. Read even just a couple of lines or a paragraph to the family at dinner whenever you can. Offer them a question about the saint to ponder (and to see if they were listening!). And then, invoke the saint together as a family all throughout Advent. With this simple addition to your Advent tradition, your family will be learning about a saint as well, you will be helping them to focus on heavenly things instead of the advertising frenzy and the lack of good values of the secular culture (which we are trying to keep outside the doors of our domestic church).

4) Establish a "NO NOISE" time (and/or zone). Once or twice a week (or even everyday if possible) set a timer for ten minutes. Explain to the kids that they are to be very quiet during that short period of time. You can give the older ones a suggested line of Scripture or information about the saint you are learning about. They are to meditate for ten minutes on something holy (the line from Scripture, the saint, the season of Advent, an idea to do to help someone, etc., etc). There should be no grumbling or complaining about this. We can all spare ten minutes, can't we?

You will be assisting your family to carve out the essential time for silence in their lives. We all need quiet time to be able to listen to God. How can we possibly hear Him whispering to our hearts and souls when there is too much noise around us and if we are so preoccupied with everything else? Encouraging the family to listen for God will certainly prove to be very beneficial as they grow in holiness and are exposed to all kinds of experiences and distractions from the secular world. Carving out a quiet time is a simple habit to learn which can be carried throughout life.

5) Strive to live in the present moments of your life. Surrender your heart to God this Advent season. Accept what God gives you each day. You might try to take some extra time out to pray and suddenly the kids aren't cooperating or the neighbor is ringing the doorbell needing your help, or you're sick, or facing some sort of challenge, etc., etc. God might be asking you to put aside your preconceptions of what your prayer should be at that moment, and further, He might want you to allow Him to show you another way to pray--actively--giving your heart to those He puts in your midst (without complaining). Or, He might be asking you to offer your sickness and sufferings to Him with love, asking that He transform them into graces to help you and your family. So, whatever it is, try hard to accept Our Lord's Advent "gifts" for you and answer Him with a loving "Yes!"

Live in the moment this Advent and with God's grace and your faithfulness, your life will become a beautiful prayer to God!

Happy Advent!

God bless!


PS I will come back soon with a link for you to listen to the radio show I did today on Diocese Live with Jennifer and Leo in which I spoke about all of this. I'll also be doing a radio show with Dr. Matthew Bunson talking about my book, Catholic Mom's Cafe. It will air on January 25, 2014.

As well, you can view an EWTN Bookmark episode about Catholic Mom's Cafe here:

Speaking of Catholic Mom's Cafe. I am giving out copies of it! Send me an email to with "Catholic Mom's Cafe contest" in the subject line and tell me why you want to win this book. I'll be giving out five copies this week!

Here's a description of Catholic Mom's Cafe:

Motherhood is a miraculous vocation - sometimes the miracle is just making it through the day!
Let's face it: being a mom is not for the faint of heart. Too often we just hit the ground running without giving our faith a second thought. This collection of quick "mini-retreats for moms" can change all that.
Consider these your spiritual "daily vitamins" that will energize you and help you find the faith, hope, and love you'll need to be the mom God wants you to be - today and every day.
  • Ponder quotes from the Bible and other spiritual readings
  • Offer yourself to the Lord through an easy activity or idea
  • Pray suggested prayers that match the daily theme
  • Savor a little "sound bite" to carry throughout the day
Author, speaker, and EWTN host Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle knows what it's like to be a busy mother who has to carve time out of her day for the Lord or it just won't happen. With five kids of her own, she developed this book to fit into a mom's lifestyle.


  1. Our family implemented a "candle time" in the evenings. When the candle burns out, time for bed. The kids colored pictures and were quiet for about 25 minutes. My 7yo son even said, "Mom, that candle is Jesus." This morning he said "can we have candle time now?"

    1. Thank you for sharing with us, "Vallimasoos." What a great tradition you instituted in your home. Happy Advent!